Ani jokes

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Why couldn’t the principal call the orphan's parents?

Because he doesn’t have any.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.

A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"

"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?

You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.

Why can’t orphans tell jokes?

Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.

I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.

LGBTQ. If there’s any joke, it’s 100% the woke 🤡.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Why are orphans gay? Because they can’t come out to anyone.

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.