You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
He's dead.
