Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.
The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
