What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
Your d*** size...
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
Why did the sperm cross the road? To get to the vagina!
Butthole.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Kasper has a tiny penis.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
Hmmm.
