America jokes

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.

🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.

What do you call a racist community? America.

So Mungus.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?

A foreign exchange student.

Why didn't Trump beat Biden?

Because he couldn't trump that bitch!

What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?

Alien vs. Predator.

What's Trump's favorite instrument?

A TRUMPet!!!

America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"

How did Voldemort lose his nose?

From uncontrolled Gold Mining!

How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family.

I'm illegal.

I am a fat girl.

What is the difference between an American and a computer?

An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.