America jokes
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."