America jokes
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
Make America hate again.
ABBaS.
Abortion is beautiful.
Memes
Bill Cosplay
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Hello, America!
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
How did you get that? Used your life savings?
Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?
Because they have already got 2 towers down.
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?