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America

America jokes

Garbage

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

Fruit

Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

Memes

America memes

Aussie

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

Place

And together we will make America great again.

You were never great in the first place.

Gun

American: I've never shot a gun.

African: That's the first coming from an American!

Gun

Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?

Because that's the average class size in America.

Tower

Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?

Because they have already got 2 towers down.