Always jokes
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
me now & go look at one of my first posts on here
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.