Always jokes
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
this for all the creeps
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?