Always jokes

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

Why do 911 jokes always fail?

They always crash and burn!

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.

Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.

Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?

Because he’s always on the webcast.

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

How does the cheetah do in every race?

It’s always a cheetah.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.