Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Always Jokes
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
