Always jokes
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out. ... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
Always trust strangers
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.