Always jokes

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?

They’re always spotted!

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

They never get old.

Why do 911 jokes always fail?

They always crash and burn!

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

...Because there's always a cast!

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?

Because he’s always on the webcast.

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...