Always jokes

Why do 911 jokes always fail?

They always crash and burn!

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?

They’re always spotted!

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Dude, 9/11 jokes always bomb.

What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?

Home Depot.

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.

I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.

Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?

Because he’s always on the webcast.

Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

...Because there's always a cast!

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.