Always jokes
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.
I always wonder what girls are thinking about. Maybe balls.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Why is Broly always mad?
Answer: His bros dead.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.