Always jokes
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin