Always jokes
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."