Airplane jokes

What do we want? Plane noises!

When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?

To get some plane bread.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.

How old are 9/11 victims?

"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"

How do tourists feed their kids?

Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.

Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.

Religion crashes them.

My heart is like a plane.

It crashes every once in a while.

How are rape and an airplane similar?

The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.

My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"