Airplane jokes

I hate airplanes!

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?

New Yorkers.

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?

A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!

I'm in school right now, but I'm on an airplane.

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school"?

Science gets you to the moon.

Religion flies you into buildings.

Why did Hitler lose the war?

Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?

What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!

What picture is that?

What is the address?

My dick hard.

"I like planes."

- Plane Guy

Anyone wanna buy me Season X on Fortnite?

My name is Big Dick.

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.