Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
"Osama bin Laden playing MW2 Air Strike inbound."
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
