I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
