Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?
"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.
Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!
They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.
What did the water say to the beach Nothing it just waved
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
