Air jokes
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one ducted.
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.
What is the difference between George Floyd and Kobe?
Kobe got air.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.