Air jokes

What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.

Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"

Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".

"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"

Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."

Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll let it go!

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Why do hospitals have air conditioning?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

I tried to catch air once... I mist.

I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.

I tried to catch fog yesterday...

Mist.

What is the difference between George Floyd and Kobe?

Kobe got air.

George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.

Why do orphans air?

It’s invisible just like their parents.

Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.