How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Air Jokes
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one ducted.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
