How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Agriculture Jokes
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.