What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
