Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
Agriculture Jokes
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
