This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
