Agriculture jokes
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.