Age jokes

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

You look too old to be living with your grandma.

Why would the chicken not cross the road?

Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

What age is served for breakfast?

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

Virgos are always virgins to age 17... Just saying.