Age

Age jokes

Hairline

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

Hairline

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

Pornstar

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

Mom

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Memes

Candle

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

Herb

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Condom

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Time

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

Driver

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Hairline

Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?

Death

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Girlfriend

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Crisis

Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a midlife crisis.

Priest

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.