Age jokes

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Yo mama so old, she was accepted for the museum.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

Who is the oldest Dave?

Daveon.

Who is the least young Dave?

Dave-on.

You look too old to be living with your grandma.

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

What age is served for breakfast?

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.