Age

Age jokes

Mom

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Candle

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

Herb

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Condom

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Memes

Time

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

Driver

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Hairline

Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?

Death

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Girlfriend

I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.

Crisis

Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a midlife crisis.

Priest

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

Girl

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Woman

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

Quote

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."