Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
