Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
