Age jokes
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.