Aed jokes
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting them back in the wheelchair
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.