Aed jokes

Roses are red, I like weed,

If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.

What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.

Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

A: Ow!

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

This is a joke in itself.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"

When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar!

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

I have a joke about construction.

I'm still working on it.

What's a convict's favorite song?

"I want to break free."

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.

Are you a toaster?