Aed jokes
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
What is a cow?
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.
Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.