Aed jokes

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?

A barcode.

I don't have a joke. Keep looking.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Once I took a test on waving signal flags.

They said I passed with flying colors.

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.

How do you call a very good lemonade?

Fantatastic!

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?

Snoopy Dog.

What's green and bad for your teeth?

A green brick.

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

I've been drinking from a tall cup.

His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!