Aed jokes
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.