Aed jokes
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
joe mama roast
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!