Aed jokes
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.