Aed jokes
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
I am trying not to copy any one But. Meme time
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football