Aed jokes
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Why did the tornado take a break?
Because it ran out of wind! 😂
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.