Aed jokes
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.