Aed jokes

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...

Handy Andy.

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.

And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.

What do you call an under-the-weather seven?

A sick seven.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

The baseball player knows where home base is.

Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob? He made her.

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."

The commander starts answering:

"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"

"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"

"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"

After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:

"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."

Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

There is no joke.

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.