Aed jokes

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

What do you call an apartment full of Black people?

A crackhouse.

I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?

It's a deady bear.

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

How do you punish blind kids?

Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.

What does an orphan call a kidnapping?

A surprise adoption.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?

Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.

How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?

She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’

What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.

A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."

Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?

It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.