Aed jokes
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.