Aed jokes
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
i have no comment
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
What is a baby's favorite song?
"Baby" by Justin Bieber.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Why did the bean play Fortnite?
Because it had a beantroller.