Aed jokes
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
RIP K.
When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.