Aed jokes

Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?

A: A clothes hanger.

I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.

Someone bullied a disabled person.

The disabled person said they can't stand it.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.

What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?

The magician has a cunning array of stunts!

What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.

This is a classic.

Why did the Dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!

What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?

DUH! A sticker.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

America and UK are a joke.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

Friend: But you're an orphan.

Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.

What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.

What do you call a sad porno?

A tear jerker.