Aed jokes

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

When you see a woman with a leg chain, what usually comes to your mind?

Are you still a virgin?

If you do IT

With no one?

Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.

Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?

France: Want a baguette?

USSR: Help!

How do you make a disabled person cry?

Let's go play tag!

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.

Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What is an orange cucumber?

A carrot, duh!

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

What do you call a disabled person drowning?

A boat.

Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

Non-binary is a joke.

Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?

Because it is circle.

What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?

A train driver's egg sandwich.