Aed jokes
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"