Aed jokes

I ate a man because he was dead!

Russia is worse than the USSR.

Russia is just a bonerless USSR.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?

Lester Piggott's.

Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.

🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.

What's the quickest way to get to a girl's heart?

What?

Chidori. :)

Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?

Why?

Because it would be useless. :)

You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.