Aed jokes

What do you call a dog with no legs?

...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.

My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.

Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?

She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.

A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!

I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.

What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?

"Use the horse!"

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's.

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"

Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.