Aed jokes
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.