Aed jokes
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?