Aed jokes
Ha, Uranus face!
Not in a racist way tho.
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Bitch wanna make me a sandwich?