Aed jokes
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking hot body?
Cremation.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!