Aed jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
Q: What's a hooker's favourite SpongeBob episode?
A: Rock Bottom.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.