Aed jokes

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

I saw my sister sucking a big toe.

A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"

The man said, "Okay."

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.

What do you call a cow in a moving van?

A: A mooving cow.

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.

I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?

The cowch (couch).

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?

A: "Oops, I got your nose!"

My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.

Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.

Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.