Aed jokes
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
We ain’t got no new memes so here
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.