Aed jokes

I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.

What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.

I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

What does a bear beat off with?

His bear hands.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

Are you a knife?

Because I want to deep throat you.

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

Your hairline is in a different area code.

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?

The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.