Aed jokes

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?

The wheelchair.

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.

What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?

"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭

I'm a nonbinary trash can.

My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Why did Gemma fall off her bike?

She got hit by a fridge.

Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?

She called for a price check.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

Playing a game called 7-Up.

Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?

Teacher: It's cheating!

Student: No! It's the object of the game.

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.

Is Will Smith a blacksmith?

What do you call a dick playing badminton?

A shuttlecock.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.

When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.