Aed jokes
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
Replace the v in Venus with a p.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.