Aed jokes

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!

What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?

The 89th floor.

What do fish smoke? A puffer.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?

It got a bunch of plane.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.

What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"