Aed jokes
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.