Aed jokes

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

What do you call a single bisexual?

All bi myself.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Guys, my sister's pregnant!

I'm finally a dad!

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

"I have good news and bad news."

The wife said: "What's the good news?"

"We managed to save his arm."

"What's the bad news?"

"We couldn't save the rest of him."

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

What do you call a Russian tree?

Dimitree.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.