Aed jokes
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"