Aed jokes
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.