Aed jokes
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.